¿Puede suceder?

He terminado de corregir el examen de biología de mi alumnado de 4º curso de la ESO. Más de la mitad de la clase ha respondido a las cuestiones planteadas de esta manera:

  • ¿Cuál es la edad de la Tierra? La Creación tuvo lugar el 26 de octubre del año 4004 antes de Cristo, a las nueve de la mañana.

  •  Explique el origen de la vida a la luz de los conocimientos actuales. La vida la originó Dios como todo lo demás en su infinita bondad
  • Describa en qué consistió el histórico experimento de Stanley Miller. Stanley Miller, como cualquier otro científico que se entrometa en cosas que jamás comprenderá, fue un fracasado que no hizo nunca nada digno de mención. Su experimento no demostró nada más allá de su profunda ignorancia hacia las cosas verdaderamente importantes
  • ¿Cuál es el origen de la diversidad biológica? ¿Por qué? Dios, en su infinita sabiduría, sabe lo que hace en todo momento. Los designios del Señor son inescrutables
  • ¿Qué son los fósiles?¿Cómo se forman? Pobres criaturas creadas por Dios que no pudieron ser salvadas por Noé cuando tuvo lugar el Diluvio Universal
  • Explique el origen del ser humano Y dijo Dios: Hagamos al hombre a nuestra imagen, conforme a nuestra semejanza; y ejerza dominio sobre los peces del mar, sobre las aves del cielo, sobre los ganados, sobre toda la tierra, y sobre todo reptil que se arrastra sobre la tierra.

No me queda más remedio que poner un cero a casi la mitad de la clase. Al día siguiente, algunas madres piden cita para hablar conmigo sobre el examen de biología de sus hijos. Querrán disculparse en nombre de sus hijos por tamaña travesura que les ha costado un suspenso, pensé.

En la cafetería, el profesor de química está desconcertado. Lleva más de treinta años como profesor y jamás le había sucedido nada parecido. Cuando estaba explicando el teorema de la conservación de la materia de las reacciones químicas, un alumno de primero de bachillerato se le había enfrentado diciendo que mentía, que dicho teorema era una chufa cientificista, una falacia matemática. El joven y enfurecido alumno sostenía que si tal teorema fuera cierto, jamás se podría haber dado el milagro de los panes y los peces, tal como aseguran las sagradas escrituras que como todo el mundo sabe son infalibles. La profesora de filosofía también estaba muy disgustada porque su alumnado se negaba a aprender otra cosa que no fueran Santo Tomas o San Agustín, y que los griegos eran unos paganos homosexuales pecaminosos.

Mi reunión con los padres de alumnos no ha salido como yo esperaba. Algunos se han puesto muy violentos, agresivos incluso. Reclaman el aprobado para sus hijos y argumentan que sus respuestas están contempladas como válidas en el BOE del 14 de febrero de 2015. Yo les digo que ese BOE refleja el currículo de la asignatura de religión y que mi examen es de biología. Algunos se van enfadados, de portazo, otros amenazan con que “esto no se acaba aquí, esto no ha hecho más que empezar” y frases por el estilo. El resto de la semana no he dado pie con bolo; he estado demasiado tenso como para dar clases de forma adecuada.

Se comenta que en clase de física se ha liado gorda. Un profesor ha ofendido a una alumna públicamente. Esas situaciones siempre acaban mal, con apertura de expedientes disciplinarios, suspensiones temporales de empleo y sueldo o quién sabe… La alumna le ha rebatido al profe que el Universo tuviera su origen en una gran explosión, que eso era ridículo. La muchacha sostenía que un Universo tan perfecto y tan bello solo podía haber salido de la mente de un inteligente y genial diseñador. El profesor de física le respondió que la ignorancia es atrevida por definición y que solo el tamaño del Universo era comparable al tamaño de su propia ignorancia. Todos se rieron, ella dijo que no tenía derecho a reírse de sus convicciones y se fue de portazo a hablar con la directora.

Ha pasado un mes y recibo una carta certificada del Departamento de Educación: me citan para hoy a las 10:00 h para una reunión con el director general. Voy para allá.

Entro en una habitación con una gran mesa con cinco personas. Hay unas cuantas sillas vacías alrededor de la gran mesa, así que elijo una y me siento. Reconozco a una de esas personas, es la madre de un alumno de 4º, de uno de esos que recibió un cero en aquel examen sobre el origen de la vida. El que está a su lado se presenta como su abogado. Completan el re-póker el director general, su secretaria personal y un cura.

Solo habla el director general. Dice que hay que solucionar cierto asunto sobre un examen que yo puse hace un mes y que yo corregí de forma excesivamente exigente. Y que si estoy dispuesto a rectificar y aprobar a todo el alumnado que respondió al examen de la misma forma, el asunto acabaría aquí y ahora.

Que esos chicos y chicas respondieron de acuerdo al currículo oficial del BOE del 14 F de 2015, luego la ley les ampara, tienen derecho a aprobar. Y que si los currículos de las diferentes asignaturas entran en contradicción, es problema nuestro, de los profesores, que nunca hemos sabido  coordinarnos para elaborar un criterio único.

Y para que no vuelva a pasar se toman ciertas medidas: se eliminan temas del currículo en casi todas las asignaturas y desaparecen algunas asignaturas calificadas como irremediablemente conflictivas.

Algunos compañeros y compañeras “pasan” de todo y deciden no hacer preguntas “teológicamente incorrectas”, evitan las cuestiones que puedan entrar en contradicción con las sagradas escrituras. Asignaturas como inglés, educación física o matemáticas no han tenido demasiados problemas. En lengua ha habido que “olvidarse” de algunos autores, mientras que en sociales conviene no tocar determinados temas; en física y química se busca refugio en nomenclaturas varias y en galileanos problemas de poleas y planos inclinados. En filosofía solo se habla de Santa Teresa, Santo Tomás, San Agustín y San Josemaría Escrivá.

En ciencias naturales, ahora le damos mucha más importancia a la biología descriptiva. Dibujamos especies de animales y plantas que recortamos y pegamos en vistosos dioramas del Arca de Noé.

 

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