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Los recortes empezaron en Navarra con un gobierno de naturaleza creyente, me refiero a creyente del tipo católico y creyente en el TDAH. Nos bajaron el sueldo a los docentes, no de golpe sino a poquitos, nos subieron las horas de docencia directa y lo más grave: nos subieron la ratio, el número de estudiantes por aula, a esos números inhumanos. Hay una palabra que define la ratio mejor que cualquier otra: inasumible.
El TDAH nos permite modificar un parámetro que hasta ahora no podíamos regular que es el número de alumnos porque nos permite los descartes, es decir, niños y niñas a los que no vamos a educar.
¿A quiénes descartas, quiénes son los elegidos para ser desposeídos del derecho constitucional a la educación? Al lento, al inmaduro, al despistado, al conflictivo… Para el Gobierno, para los padres, madres, orientadores y profesores que creen en el TDAH, esos niños están enfermos.
Un gobierno creyente en esta afección inventada que ningún médico libre de intereses económicos reconoce y un alto mandatario de educación que es tan creyente que incluso confiesa que su hijo la padece, hacen, que de la noche a la mañana, sean cientos los niños y niñas “enfermos”.
¿qué hay de cierto en el TDAH? Toda leyenda reposa sobre cierta base de certeza, dicen ¿Qué hay de cierto en el TDAH, una enfermedad mental que cursa de manera epidémica?
Este hecho es en sí mismo una imposibilidad médica, es algo nunca visto. Sería el equivalente a poder contagiarse un esguince.
El TDAH lleva años entre nosotros y miles son las personas que aseguran tenerlo o que alguien lo tiene. Y es que la pastilla de mph es la que convierte en real la enfermedad imaginada. El gran beneficio económico que está rentando la hace políticamente intocable: nadie se atreve a erradicar este veneno porque es como matar la grilla de los huevos de oro . A ver quién es el guapo que cierra la cornucopia y dice “basta”.
En resumen y para no alargar innecesariamente diré que se trata de una enfermedad ficticia que basta escribirla una vez y a mano para darse cuenta de que se trata de una “chufa”. Es como decir “trastorno de exceso de mal humor ante brick de leche vacía intro-frigorífica o TEMH”. Insisto en que tendría mucha gracia de no ser por la cantidad de infelicidad y sufrimiento que está causando en miles de familias, y cada vez más.
El TDAH empezó medio en serio y medio en broma en los EE.UU. allá por los años sesenta. Su creador, Leon Eisenberg (no confundir con el gran físico alemán Werner Karl Heisenberg, creador del famoso principio de Incertidumbre ni con el genial protagonista de Breaking Bad, aunque con éste último pueda haber asombrosas coincidencias) no hizo más que poner un nombre atractivo a lo que en esa época se conocía como Síndrome Post Encefálico y que algunos niños (apenas un centenar en todos los Estados Unidos) padecían después de haber sufrido una agresiva encefalitis herpética.
El caminar más o menos errático de estos pobres niños ¿os he dicho que eran de extracción humilde? les hacía parecer distraídos y patosos. Pero si les suministrabas un derivado de la anfetamina llamado metilfenidato se quedaban quietos y con los ojos muy abiertos, como prestando atención.
Este hecho me recuerda demasiado a la historia de un muchacho al que, para reírse de él, unos gamberros le vendieron un búho diciéndole que se trataba un loro parlanchín. Y al cabo de los meses, cuando le preguntaban: ¿qué tal tu loro, ya habla?, el pobre muchacho respondía: todavía no, pero presta muchísima atención. Con estos niños pobres, no es necesario que diga cuál era el color de su piel, se hicieron terribles atrocidades en la investigación de enfermedades venéreas, pero de eso os hablaré en alguna otra ocasión.
El éxito de Leon fue inventarse una enfermedad similar a las secuelas de una encefalitis pero basada en unos síntomas más comunes, algo más enfocado a blancos acomodados, con más glamour. Imaginad por un momento que yo me invento un síndrome cuyos síntomas sean el malestar que se siente cuando acaban tus vacaciones y tienes que volver a tu trabajo de obrero en un andamio en un febrero pamplonés. ¡Huy!, disculpadme, que esa enfermedad ya está inventada, se trata del síndrome post-vacacional.
Bien, entonces imaginemos que estamos en la boda de unos parientes lejanos y desconocidos. Todos hablan un idioma centroeuropeo que tú no conoces. Durante el banquete y el baile, tu pareja y tú apenas os habéis relacionado y tan solo deseáis que acabe el evento e iros a casita. Pues bien, ambos padecéis un trastorno llamado Trastorno Social Pragmático de la comunicación o SCD.
Si tu hijo ha tenido alguna rabieta, deja por favor de llamarla así, el término correcto es Desorden Disruptivo de Desregulación del Estado de Ánimo. Y no te preocupes que hay una pastilla que lo cura. ¿Que lo cura? ¡Qué locura!
¡Atención chicas! El sistema farmacodependiente que hemos desarrollado paralelamente a nuestro sistema sanitario que es excelente (dicho sea sin el menor de los sarcasmos) no se conforma con considerar a la mujer desde que nace hasta que muere una enferma: menstruación, embarazo, menopausia se tratan como si fueran enfermedades y no etapas naturales en la vida de cualquier mujer. Ahora, la frase machista donde las haya: “déjala que está con la regla y en esos días se pone intratable” tiene su diagnóstico y se denomina Trastorno Disfórico Premenstrual o TDPM.
A ti, que te gustan tus vinilos y que no los cambiarías por nada, padeces Trastorno de Acumulación o TA.
Podría seguir durante un buen rato, y tendría mucha gracia si no fuera porque todas estas “enfermedades” y cientos más recogidas en el infame DSM-V, el Manual Diagnóstico de Enfermedades Mentales, tienen asociada una pastilla, generalmente una benzodiazepina, y son responsables de gran dolor y tristeza tanto en las personas que creen padecerlas como en sus familiares y amigos.
El mundo sería un lugar mejor si las personas entendiésemos que el DSM-V es basura.
Nostros los docentes tenemos la posibilidad de hacer que esto sea real, que la gente conozca cómo funciona ese manual, cómo hacen para incluir una enfermedad ahí, y quién patrocina la creación del mismo. Y de alguna manera es nuestro deber, porque esto es educar: enseñar, mostrar la realidad desde todos los ángulos posibles. Con solo dar a conocer esos datos, haríamos mucho por las generaciones futuras. Condenar toda esta basura es tan importante como lo ha sido, por ejemplo, desenmascarar las conductas machistas u homofóbicas como las lacras que son y han sido para la sociedad.
Toda la vida de «Dios» y por lo general, hace calor en Agosto. A este paso ,estos de las enfermedades (DSM-V)van a incluir el «Síndrome de calor veraniego, SCV.
S.P.M
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